Bothered

[Momo-P]

I don't want to go deep into it, but at the moment I'm deeply bothered.

I had wanted out of my job for awhile now, but my parents wouldn't let me quit. It wasn't that they were trying to be jerks or anything, but just little things were wearing on me (a lot had changed) and I just couldn't stand working there anymore.

Then someone called me a ****.

Mind you they were joking, and their constant question of "Are you going to get **** off? Sure you are! Don't lie to yourself!" was also intended as a joke, but...eh. I really don't think calling people a **** is very funny or an appropriate term. I also do get annoyed being bothered, and I'm bad at words or snappy comebacks, so I'm not exactly someone who can defend myself. So...what happened? Nothing happened. I just didn't say anything.

I know the right thing would've been to request him stop doing that, but I'm a really pitful person. I just couldn't. I basically just went along with it and tried to joke back, but...eh. After it was said and done I thought over it. One of his comments was "are you gonna cry?" which really hit a sore spot, I am a cry baby (though I'm unsure if he knows it) and if anything it just made me want to cry.

However...I think I blew it out of porportion. I wanted out of my job, so of course I brought it up as a reason to quit. I mean...most people would agree, ya, if you don't wanna work in a place where someone says stuff like that to you, then it's a reason. Still though, I think it became a bigger issue than it needed to be. When I told my parents they said it could be considered harrassment (because he was repeating the "are you **** off?" comment a lot), but I wasn't SOOOO troubled over it, so I feel maybe I was in the wrong...maybe I did make a bigger deal out of it.

In that case I feel terrible. I did want to quit, and I'm thankful I did (especially because my boss called me a liar, he said that guy didn't call me a **** because he said he didn't), but...if I took someone's jokes and turned them around to make him sound like a horrible person...I don't want that either.

I dunno...I pray to God I wasn't in the wrong for reporting what he said as harrassment, but I probably was. Someone was just joking around and I took it wrong...that's what my boss said, and I guess he's right...

Man I'm a bad person.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

Wait, your manager like... didn't believe you?

Address a complaint to your manager's boss. Seriously. A jerk like him doesn't really deserved to be employed if he's going to call you a "****" and think it's okay to joke like that. You should be less submissive and take a stand on this issue. Yes you should file a harassment complaint. Does not matter if this kid was "joking" because you obviously were offended by the words he said. Saying something as a joke does not excuse someone for calling someone (especially a girl) a "****" and then follow up with more harassing remarks. He's the one at fault, not you.

When I used to work at Wendy's, we had an assistant manager that was a total jerk. He'd say racial jokes, constantly accuse us of being gay (He wasn't being serious) and showed us pornographic material on his cellphone. After being unable to tolerate with him, both my coworker and I filed complaints for racial stereotyping and sexual harassment.

We got him fired.

[Momo-P]

Well actually there is nobody above him. It's a privately owned place (a manor) and the one who said these things to me was the boss's son, so...ya. When my mom told him I wouldn't lie, he told her his son wouldn't either and it was my word against his.

My thing was that, although I didn't appreciate the words, I wasn't bawling like a little girl and therefore had no reason to go as far as I did. Basically second guessing myself and wondering if I was as hurt as I was acting. Then again, I also recall myself ranting a bit about what he said to me when he first said it, and that's something I only do when I'm mad.

Bah. I wouldn't make a good courtroom person. A lawyer could screw with my head so badly. x_x For awhile he even had me wondering if I made up the **** thing myself.

[Mr. SmartyPants]

Doesn't matter if you weren't bawling. As an employee, you have a right to a safe and healthy workplace. If someone is being a jerk and your boss is going to be one of those parents that go "Oh my son would never do that!*" then you don't have to deal with it. Since you want to quit, this is more reason to do so.

Do what you feel would benefit you the most.


*I had a math teacher that also hated it when parents went "Oh my son would NEVER do that!" In fact, he made his own son get drug tested. Dead serious. He was such a cool guy though.

[SP1]

Being in a situation with the "boss' son" is a no-win scenario for you. You were right to quit. Praying for your success in finding a reasonable job.

[Anna Mae]

I second what Mr.SP and SP1 said. You did not blow it out of proportion in the slightest. It is important that you consider your feelings valid... and please don't call yourself a bad person.

Praying for you.

[AsianBlossom]

Yep. If you still want a job, you should find another one. You totally were right in leaving, and the bad person wasn't you in this case. Harrassment should never be tolerated.

I'll be praying.